Tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger: wao wao wao wao!!!

Uff plzz plzz aur karo naaa

Uff plzz plzz aur karo naaa dabao naa,
zara zor se aisa karo apni shirt nikalo
apni pant bhi nikal do
meri saadi bhi nikal do
ab zorse dabao
aur dabao naa bahut tight hai plz.
aur Zorse!plz karo naa plz……,
ho gaya na suitcase bannd.

When I am sick I kiss my wife

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Wo maangti thi mein deta na tha

Wo maangti thi mein deta na tha,
Jawab us k sawal ka..
Abhi rakkha hi tha k choot gaya,
Haath se phool gulab ka..
Wo kehti thi peeche se nahi aage se karo,
Deedar mere husne shabab ka..
Wo kehti thi bara dard hota hai jub under jata hai,

500 ka note blouse se nikala hai kya

Subjiwala: madam ye 500 ka
note blouse se nikala hai kya?
Madam: hann par kaise laga?
Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muh
abhi bhi khula hua hai!

Bus bhi karo ab

Girl: Bus bhi karo ab!
Boy: Kuch bhi nahi hota!
Girl: Kisi ney daikh lia to ?
Boy: Kuch nahi ho ga bus seedhi raho aur thora khol kar rakho!
Girl: Bus bohat ho gaya ab main tumhein aur nahi karney doon gi ! Boy: Please thora sa aur karney do..!
Agar aaj paper na kar saka to main fail ho jaon ga please..!

It’s called Prayer

It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

I really deeply wish dat

I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

He came at night

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!

Biology and Sociology

Que. What’s the difference between
biology and sociology?
Ans. When the baby looks like his dad or mom,
then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour,
then it is sociology.

Husband touched boobs

- Husband touched boobs and
- sung: Piyo glass full doodh,
- wonderful doodh.
- Immediately wife touched
- his penis n said: Thanda
- matlab CHOTA COKE!

Can we do romance

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.

A childhad never seen his hips

A childhad never seen his hips
once his teacher beat with ruler n his hips…
he was very angry
he came bacand saw his hips in the mirror n said:
KAMEENE NE DO TUKREY KAR DIYe

Sardar aur aurat ka doodh

sardar ko aik hakeem ne
aurat ka doodh bimari ka hal tajweez kia
sardar ne kahin se aurat ka intizam kai
sardar ne jab aurat ka doodh peena shoora kia
tu auerat garam ho gai
aur sexy awaz mein sardar se boli
sardar ji kuch aur chai
sardar: agar sath biscuit mil jaein tu kia hi bat hai

Stress is when wife is pregnant

3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant.

woh kia hai jo

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain

Usne utari saree

Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!

Pehle KISS karo

Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
.
.
.
.
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na

Tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge

Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…

Bachay kaisay paida karti hay

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?
Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

Udass kyon kharey ho sham ki tarha

Udass kyon kharey ho sham ki tarha
Wah Wah Wah
Udass kyon kharey ho sham ki tarha
Aao mera LUND chooso AAM ki tarha
“Happy MANGO season”

Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai

Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai,
aur, Gila Bahir Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Hota Hai,
Jab Ye Ander Rehta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thori Dair Helane Ke Bad Jab Esai Bahir Nekalo,
To Apne Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejan Sa Bahir Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye,
Es Ko LIPTON TEA BAG, Kahty Hain.

Aaj tumhein akeiley mein

aaj tumhein akeiley mein…
le ja kar…
apney hontoon se eik…
k…
ki…
kis..
kiss…
kissa sunaon bili aur chohey ka……

isme ek chota baby hai

Ek chotta baccha apni pregnant
mummy se puchta hai: isme kya hai.
Mummy: isme ek chota baby hai.
baccha: agar baby itna hi
acha tha to kha kyun gayi.

Have you ever been to the moon

Have you ever been to the moon ?
no !
sit on my rocket and I will take you there

Boys say it’s great

Boys say it’s great,
boys say it’s fine.
9 months later they say it’s not mine !

Kehnay Lagay Meri Na Loo

Arz Kia Hai…
Daalte Hi Jhar Gaye
Theray Na Phool Galay Mai Mere Haar K
Dard Unko Huwa To Nikaal Lia Maine
Kaanta Jo Chubha Peroon Main Sarkar K
Cheek Uthay Chilla Uthay Kehnay Lagay Meri Na Loo
Ek Hi To Kameez Hai Aur Din Bhi Hain Tehwaar K

King Size Filter

1 Dehati Red Dhoti or white
banyan main jaa raha tha:
kuch larkiyon ne daikha tu kaha:
oh “Red&White”
Dehati ne dhoti uthai or
Bola:
:King Size Filter”

Udass kyon kharey ho

Udass kyon kharey ho sham ki tarha
Wah Wah Wah
Udass kyon kharey ho sham ki tarha
Aao mera LUND chooso AAM ki tarha

Apki muskurahat

Apki muskurahat jaise
7up-zara hut k
apki awaj
ruh afja-rahat ki saans
apki dosti
coca cola-maza zindgi ka
apka sms
pepsi-dil mangf more.

Whenever u have a problem

Whenever u have a problem,just sing ur favourite song…
U will realize that….
The problem is better than ur voice…..!

You know about my smile

u know about my smile?
it occurs on ur lips,
reflects in ur eyes
&
ends with a glow on ur face.
actually it exists only when u r happy

Happy Holi once again

Happy holi to you and your family.
Celebrate with crackers and diyas…
fly kites! Get drunk.. Just like I am right now…
Happy Holi once again.

When u feel hurt

When u feel depreesed, confused or hurt.
Dont worry stand in front of a mirror, u will find the best one to solve ur problem.
TRUST YOURSELF,

Do masti wid friends

Its bettr 2 bunk a class n do masti wid friends..
Bcoz….

Today when i look back……..

…Marks never make me laugh but memories do….;)

Dess Ke Logon Ko EID MUBARAK

Jis Dess Ke Kuche Kuche Main Aflaas Awara Phirti Ho,

Jo Dharti Bhuk Ugalti Ho Aur Dukh Aflaak Se Girta Ho,

Jahan Bhuke Nange Bache Bhi, Aahon Par Paale Jate Hon,

Jahan Sachai Ke Mujrim Bhi Zindaan Main Daale Jate Hon,

Us Dess Ki Matti Barson Se Yeh Rogg Jigar Pe Sehti Hai,

Aur Apne Dess Ke Logon Ko EID MUBARAK Kehti Hai.. !!

The Lord came to earth

The Lord came to earth
with a life to give,
so each one of us
may continue to live.
Happy Easter!

May this diwali Light up new dreams

May this diwali Light up new dreams,
fresh hopes, undiscovered avenues,
different perspectives, everythin bright & beautifulfil and fill ur days with pleasant surprises and moments.

Happy Diwali.

Put ur lips on her lips

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

Do masti wid friends

Its bettr 2 bunk a class n do masti wid friends..
Bcoz….

Today when i look back……..

…Marks never make me laugh but memories do….;)

keep trying

All impossible things are not difficult
and
difficult things are not impossibel
keep trying

Christmas for me is watching u

Christmas may be many things
or it may be a few.
For you, the joy
is each new toy;
for me;
it’s watching U.

You Are In My Prayers

\ ! /
-( o )- Day
/ ! \

+ + +
+ *)+ Night
+ + +

,,,,
,,,, Rain
///

Any time
Any where U’ll b in
my Prayers

Why women Love gold

Why women Love gold more
than men ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because gold has 24 carrot
whereas man has only one carrot.

Our love is true

Your love makes my days Happy and bright,
Into my world you Brought pure delight
Joy beyond reason You’ve given me,
Our love is true This I can see.
Happy Anniversary

When things go wrong…

When things go wrong…
when sadness fills ur heart…
when tears flow in ur eyes… always remember 3 things
1—GOD
2—ur parents
3—my sincere prayers…..
GOOD LUCK
&
God bless u.

Never break the trust

Nice saying:
” Sorry’ works when mistake is made..
but sorry does not work when trust is broken..
so in life do mistakes but never break the trust..

Please remind me 2 remind u

Please remind me
2 remind u about
reminding me 2 send
u this reminder that
reminds me of reminding
u that i am always ur friend.
DONT FORGET!

valentine day Kiss Day ko kahete haiN

Munna bhai: Circuit ye valentine day kaun sa din hai?
Circuit: Simple bhai aajkal valentine day ‘Kiss Day’ ko kahete haiN….

Dream hope and love

Life ends when you stop dreaming,
hope ends when you stop believing
and love ends when you stop caring.
So dream hope and love…
Makes Life Beautiful

Sorry say one time

SORRY
Say
Onetime 2 any1
Really
Remembering
You

Yun meray khat ka jawab aaya..

Yun meray khat ka jawab aaya...
Lifafay main aik gulaab aaya

Don’t stop ur smile

Every normal person has 72 heart beats, but for myself its 73.
the extra 1 is ur smile. So don’t stop ur smile,
it will affect my heart.. Keep Smiling

Jin K Milte He Dil Ko Khushi Mil Jaye

Jin K Milte He Dil Ko Khushi Mil Jaye Mohsin
Wo Log kyun Zindagi Mai Kam Mila Karte Hain.

Twinkle Twinkle Little SARDAR

Twinkle Twinkle Little SARDAR
We All Wonder What They R
Up Above A Jura So High
Like An Antena In The Sky
Dimag Ka Portion Always Dry
Ab Hans De Papu Dont B Shy

Together You and I

Together You and I
Can Reach Stars In The Sky. . .
Together You and I
Can Touch Rainbows If V Try. . .
Together You and I
Can Make The Moon Smile. . .
Together You and I
Make Heaven Seem Like A Mile. . .
Together You and I
Can Make The Rain Fall. . .
Because Our Love Is Special
And Together We Have It All . . .

Do U think u can answer

What Part of a Human, which size doesn’t increase?
(remain as same as at the time of Birth)
Do U think u can answer….
Answer
The Eye

PYAAR karne walon ke liye ek sawal

PYAAR karne walon ke liye ek sawal.
Please agar aapne kabhi PYAAR kiya ho to iska jawab zarur dena. . .
AAPKI NAZAR MEIN PYAAR KYA HAI?

Aunty ka pait kion phola hai

Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga!

Good luck in your way of life

May this auspicious occasion
bring you all the prosperity
and good luck in your way of life .
Happy Rakshabandhan to you…

Good Luck 4 Ramzan

Best Leader – Allah
Guide – Quaran
Lyrics – Aazan
Loyality – Imaan
Request – Dua
Protection – Fitra
Oath – Kalma
Exercise – Namaaz
Self Control – Roza
So… Good Luck 4 Ramzan

When GOD takes away something

When GOD takes away
something from your hand,
dont think He’s punishing u…
he is merely emptying ur hand,
for u 2 receive something better.
Have Faith!!!

Good luck in your way of life

May this auspicious occasion
bring you all the prosperity
and good luck in your way of life .
Happy Rakshabandhan to you…

Zindagi 4 Dinaa Di Ey

Sardar 1: Yaar Kende Ne Zindagi 4 Dinaa Di Ey …
Sardar 2: Aaho !
Sardar : Te Feer Test Match Kyun 5 Dina Da Honda Ey …

I’m from the FBI

Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

Those who are too smart

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

i rememberd u

Good Morning
i mean Good Evening
i mean Good Night hmmm..
i think..time is not important
i Just want 2 Say that i rememberd u.

Tumhari yaadein dil mein hai

Yuhi ter pyaar mein behekne ko ji chahata hai,
tere saath saath chalkar zindagi bitane ko ji chahata hai,
tum ho door par tumhari yaadein dil mein hai,
isi tarha roz un yaadon mein machalne ko ji chahata hai

Time kitna hua hai

Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35

You my friend may kiss my lips

The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky,
the rose may kiss the butterfly,
the morning due may kiss the grass but
you my friend may kiss my lips!!
OR
you my friend may kiss my ass!!

I never felt true love

I never felt true love until I was with you,
I never felt true sadness until you left me.
When we broke up I think you took half of my heart with you,
You took the half I need the most..,
Because the half you left is the half that only loves you. . .

Highest level of education

During a job interview
Manager: What’s the highest level of education you obtained?
Candidate: PHD
…
Manager: Great! So that means you have a Doctor degree …
Candidate: WeLL, No… That means
Passed Highschool with Difficulties (P.H.D.)

Our dreams of a new tomorrow

On Independence Day
Here’s wising our dreams of a new tomorrow come true for us…
NOW AND ALWAYS!

Just Remeber

Just Remeber,
No matter
how bad u are..
You r not totally useless..
You can alwayz be used as a bad eXample

New Year brings Happiness not Tear

New Year brings just Happiness not Tear,
Everybody loves only You Dear,
All your Problems will be Finish……
It”s for You my Special NEW YEAR”S wish.

Happy Vinayakar Chavithi

Jai Vinayakar
…..(!)….
@(. = .)@
..() ‘,jj ()..
( )( /. )( )
Happy Vinayakar Chavithi

A smile is a curve

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight
and wipes wrinkle away
hope u share a lots and receive a lots 4 days 2 come
happy Birthday

Wishing U Good Night

If candles cannot burn w/o light,
If moon cannot shine w/o d night,
then how can I sleep w/o wishing U Good Night 

As nite falls upon the land

As nite falls upon the land, it is time 2 Zz again.
With the moon hangin in the starlit sky,
i’m here 2 wish U NiteNite! Sweet dreams,
cover blanket tight tight

When things go wrong…

When things go wrong…
when sadness fills ur heart…
when tears flow in ur eyes… always remember 3 things
1—GOD
2—ur parents
3—my sincere prayers…..
GOOD LUCK
&
God bless u.

Good morning bol k aty hen

( ‘ :’) (‘; ‘ )
,/) )\,,/) )\,
?, ,?, ,?, ,?
Aao
chalo Paa Jee,jo Frend uth gaye honge,unko gud morning bol k aty hen
GooD Morning.

The only person on this earth

The only person on this earth,who can ask women 2 stop her talks & in reply gives a smile 2 dat person…..
Is
pHOTOGRAPHER!

Kon Hai Tumhay Bohat Aziz

Us Ne Kaha Kon Hai Tumhay Bohat Aziz
Main Ne Kaha DIl Pay Jis Ka Ikhtiyar Hai
Us Ne Kaha Kon Sa Tofha Do Main Tumhay
Main Ne Kaha Wahi Sham Jo Abhi Tak Udhar Hai
Us Ne Kaha Khizan Main Milnay Ka Jawaz
Main Ne Kaha Qarb Ka Mutlab Bahar hai

Teri Nazar Me Kuch B Nahi Hon Main

Maana K Teri Nazar Me Kuch B Nahi Hon Main
DØST Meri Qadar Un Se Poch Jin K Main Ne Paise Dene Hain.

A Friend make u SMILE after u cried

A Friend is never measured by the number of times he made u laugh.
But by the number of times he made u SMILE after u cried.

Tumari ankhen ktni haseen hai

Lardka: tumari ankhen ktni haseen hai,
Lardki: Choro na,
Lardka: Tumhare baal ktne khobsurat hai,
Lardki: Choro na, App B.
Lardka: Itne der se chor hi to raha tha..

Pyar itna b mat karo

Pyar itna b mat karo
K
Girl friend sar pe swar ho jaye
Hum kehtey hain
K
Pyar itna karo
K
Girl friend ki friend bhi tumhre sath farar ho jaye………

Time Is Very Precious

lock Makes A Sound Tic Tic
But Listen Carefully It Is Not Tic Tic
Its Real Sound Is Quick Quick
Saying Time Is Very Precious Use It In The Best Way.
Good Morning

Jai Shree Ganesh

GANESH ki jyoti se noor miltahai
sbke dilon ko surur milta hai,
jobhi jaata hai GANESHA ke dwaar,
kuch na kuch zarror milta hai
“JAI SHREE GANESH“

Some times we feel

Some times we feel all doors are closed on the life.
But all the closed doors may not be locked n may be waiting for the gentle push.

EiD is The combination

EiD is The combination of 3 Meaningful words
E- Embrace wid open Heart
I-Inspire wid Impressive Attitude
D- Distribute Pleasure to All
~EID MuBaRaK~

Jesus cannot forget us

Jesus cannot forget us;
we have been graven on
the palms of his hands. – Lois Picillo

She is hot ! She is sweet

She is hot ! She is sweet !
She always Needs A lip 4 kiss Whole world is Mad 4 her !
Who ? Who is she ?
Do you know ?
Tea Chai piyo Mast jio Good morning !!!

I Pray to God to give U

I Pray to God to give U
Shanti,
Shakti,
Sampati,
Swarup,
Saiyam,
Saadgi,
Safalta,
Samridhi,
Sanskar,
Swaasth,
Sanmaan,
Saraswati,
aur SNEH.
SHUBH DIWALI…

Which is Sweet?

Mango,
Orange,
Apple &
Banana,
Which is Sweet?
Guess?
Don’t Know?
Ye Sab sweet nahi Fruit Hain..
Sweet
to
Main hooooon.
(‘,’)/
/) (
_/ ¡_

Time Is Very Precious

Clock Makes A Sound Tic Tic
But Listen Carefully It Is Not Tic Tic
Its Real Sound Is Quick Quick
Saying Time Is Very Precious Use It In The Best Way.
Good Morning

Wishes of christmas day

Bells are ringing the wishes of christmas day the
flying snowflakes send my most sincere blessings to you
merry christmas.

Ye Helicopter apun ne liya hai

_|__:_,
(_0___=——/
. _|___|_,
—-:—-
,–<|>-=___/7
(_0___=—-/
._|__|_,
Ye Helicopter apun ne liya hai…
kahi jana ho to bindas
chabi le jana…!!

King Size Filter

1 Dehati Red Dhoti or white
banyan main jaa raha tha:

kuch larkiyon ne daikha tu kaha:

oh “Red&White”

Dehati ne dhoti uthai or
Bola:

:King Size Filter”

Tum meri kis chez se impress ho

Shohar: tum meri kis chez se ziada impress ho life style,

Car,

Dressing ya bank
balance?

Biwi: Aap k sex se,Aap
jesa sex mohalle mei
kisi ko karna nhi aAtA

Penis like a peanut

Little Girl:”Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut
” Mommy:”u mean its small?”
Little Girl:”No its salty”

What part of the body goes to heaven

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!

Tajmahal ka darwaja bandh karo

college me jeen pant dale ek ladki ki zip khula thi,
usko dekh ke larka bola, “memsab aapne tajmahal ka darwaja bandh karo,
idhar mera minar hill raha hai”.

Two men went two a callgirl

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

Why women Love gold

Why women Love gold more
than men ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because gold has 24 carrot
whereas man has only one carrot.

Our love is true

Your love makes my days Happy and bright,
Into my world you Brought pure delight
Joy beyond reason You’ve given me,
Our love is true This I can see.
Happy Anniversary

The love You’ve given me

Nothing in this world Could ever be As wonderful
as the love You’ve given me
Your love makes my days so very bright,
just knowing you’re my darling wife(Husband).
Happy Anniversary

Your bum looks like

This is what your bum looks like after 4 nights of anal sex
night 1
(_._)

night 2
(_o_)

night 3
(_0_)
night 4
(__((O))__)
U DIRTY BOY!